What a consultant is not

Call it end of the year mania, or something, but I have been able to write and feel the drive to keep producing content. I will be recording my first “low effort Youtuber” video tomorrow and am slightly terrified. This post is one of two that is fighting to be the topic of my first video essay. I’m going to take the mathematician’s approach to proving a logical concept. Sometimes it’s easier to define something by what it’s not, rather than what it is.

Definitions and perceptions

People often misunderstand what a restaurant consultant is. I can’t say that I blame them. The media and the market are rife with bad examples; riff raff, gurus and garbage people that give out low value advice for exorbitant sums of money. Some people think consultants are only for restaurants in trouble, others think that a consultant is too high brow for their business at this point in their development.

I will work with any business that is reputable and comes to me in good faith for help. But the honest truth is that my passion and expertise is not that of a business necromancer but someone that helps businesses grow. Businesses against the ropes are hard to wrangle and typically have fewer options for maneuvering than healthy ones. No challenge will be turned down in earnest but what the hell am I supposed to do when the bank is already knocking on your door?

The perception seems to be something from the 90’s. A consultant comes in and charges too much an hour and bills hours for anything and everything they can. They do questionnaires, assemble presentation decks and repeat the same thing the hourly employees are saying but actually have people hear them. They cut down portion sizes, cut back on food quality in favor of a tighter P&L. They give you a 90 day roll out strategy that is abandoned or useless by day 40. They promise the moon, charge for it and then leave behind maybe one or two useful insights for the business and then ask for more work next year.

The modern era also has a new term for “consultant”, one that I myself am guilty of dipping my toe into for the sake of finding work. “The Freelancer”. Yes, yes. Just as you wouldn’t do your own plumbing if you’re unqualified or inexperienced, the gig economy has now disarmed the word consultant into a rose by another name which allows businesses to feel like they are getting cheaper labor or expertly qualified help based on the exploitable newness or the vast number of reviews held by a profile on a gig work platform.

The proof in the pudding

To name the specifics. A consultant is not someone that comes in and insults your food, workers or hygiene. They are not people that help sort out your personal relationship with business partners, substance abuse or control problems. They don’t spend their time selling you advice on how to run a business because they already have a fleet of restaurants on auto pilot. Consultants are not people that have degrees in rocket science and ran a hedge fund years ago*. No one can claim to be a real consultant that walks in and around your shop telling you that everything you do is wrong and you need to change everything. There are no one size fits all, hacks, tricks or simple ways for EVERY business to do better TODAY.

The guy with the stop watch and UV light checking your tables and touch times is not a consultant either. People telling you to jump aboard the AI train as an SMB and automate your hosting and your ordering are not consultants. These are pedantic, shovel sellers or specialized feel good coaches who tell you that all of your problems are in your direct control and that the specific variable you feel is the most important, factually is.

Consultants are; people with additional expertise, skills, passion and external insight. They are people that want to help find out what the cause of your operational or financial woes are, even if it isn’t what you think it is. They are temporary collaborators and team members. People you don’t need to pay year round, or give vacation time to, or give yearly performance reviews.

They should represent one time costs to speed up the roll out or development of revenue centers, help temporarily during staff or expertise shortages, or offer valuable insight on complicated topics. Good consultants can help supplement beverage programs when you can’t afford a full time Somm or F&B director, help budget and control expenses with financial expertise, or formalize and improve time consuming and expensive projects like training materials & SOP.

Not one of us can honestly promise to turn around a failing business, make your life stress free or make you the new Golden Arches. A consultant helps put money in the bank, reduces specific operational headaches, integrates technological solutions and completes a project you don’t have the bandwidth to get done yourself.

*okay, who is going to tell me that they indeed are a rocket scientist hedge fund exec that now works in restaurants after ‘08. I’m sure one of you will. Some exceptions may apply, but if someone’s resume looks like this you should be verifying their transcripts out of principle and to justify whatever they’re gonna charge/hour.